I remember watching the sunset in my beloved South Africa. The sea was crashing over the rocks. The beauty reflected the splendour of God in all its crystal colours. And I should’ve been happy.

I remember looking at this stunning scenery outside my window, but instead, I was sad, Emotional and insecure.

And I’d been feeling this way for a long time.

I was content and happy with my life.  I married my husband of 37 years, Manie, when we were students. He wanted to be a dentist and I studied teaching.

After he opened a dental practice,  I jumped into different positions to support his business. I stood in as the receptionist, a dental assistant, and did administrative work– while raising 4 incredible daughters!

I did a little supply teaching but eventually, I became more and more focused on my husband’s world and business.

In the beginning, my identity and significance were defined by being a mum– and I loved every beautiful moment of it. Every season, every phase, every change was fascinating and I felt blessed to be part of it. It was right for that time, and I was happy.

was known as “the wife of the amazing dentist.” And that’s how I defined myself too, but it wasn’t enough.

So, as a keen student of life, I continually took courses and workshops. Everything from helping people overcome challenges, changing behaviours, and moving forward.

But deep inside, I was searching for my true identity.

I was chasing validation as a person, and searching for significance,  searching for something more.

‘‘Let the colour you paint your world with be radiant with healing and joy”

I always needed to impress or get approval. And I couldn’t be my true self– I was always afraid of being judged.

I became more involved with my husband’s practice– doing everything– including coaching patients and helping them overcome dental fear.

I eventually became a partner and Co-Director of the practice. We were the go-to practice and well-respected by the community.

But I still wasn’t happy.

So I decided to pursue my Masters in Strategic Management and Leadership. I thought it would empower and validate me.

But it didn’t.

I saw failure everywhere. From the dental practice to my relationships in the community, my lack of self-worth and confidence coloured everything.

Then it all came crashing down after my dad’s funeral. All the scars and emotions I carried came back to haunt me. And the loss of my father left me with an empty space that I couldn’t fill.

It was excruciating. It was a time full of unhealthy thoughts, emotions and wounds.

But it eventually pushed me to finally discover who I am. Who I REALLY am.

And how to break the shackles that were holding my life back.

That’s how I ended up crying over the South African sunset.

With all of these emotions crashing down on me, I cried out to God and grabbed my bible.

What I saw changed my life.

I opened it to a passage that jumped off the page. In Genesis, it was written:

“You were created in our image and in our likeness .”

And at that moment, I felt lighter and free. I knew this was IT.